Monthly Archives: March 2013

Update!


Hello there!
Feels like forever since I posted here… Funny thing is I’ve been doing a lot of writing these past couple of weeks, none of which will end up on this blog (maybe a few will… We’ll see). Do I really have much to update? I honestly don’t know but I’m sitting here in this conference room and I know I need a distraction from the boring meeting currently going on. Seizing this opportunity to just rant, maybe… And perhaps in the process make sense of this mess that is my life right now.
* I feel like I’m in that phase of my life where I’m just coasting. While it’s not necessarily a bad thing, I’m getting really bored of the monotony.
* My days in this office is slowly but surely coming to an end. Why am I not excited?
* I’m so busy these days it’s alarming. What’s even more alarming is the fact that at the end of the day, I’m not sure exactly what it is I’ve done or where the hours went. Everything’s just moving so fast.. Super fast.
* My days pretty much consist of work, church, home, more church, even more church, work again, write, sleep (read as try to sleep), restlessness and before you know it, morning! While I’m not complaining about all the church activities, I feel like I’m giving and giving and not exactly replenishing.
* I miss my daily quiet time. Like I said, I’m hardly getting enough sleep… Been feeling so restless lately. So after much tossing and turning in bed, I finally sleep for a few hours and I’m in no hurry to wake up or even when I wake up early enough, I’m too cranky to do anything worthwhile. I NEED A RETREAT!
* Speaking of retreats, I’ll be on leave in a few weeks. 30 days of no work! Whoop!!! There’ll be work though… Lol. I’ll find a way to take two weeks out of the town, turn off my phones and just be completely out of reach. Looking forward to that.
* Sorry about all the gloom in this post. My life isn’t so gloomy, I’m just being dramatic. There are good things happening this side of the universe. I’ll share as they unfold.
I miss posting stuff here!!! I should remedy that soon and fix my quiet time too… (And exercise x_x).
Glad I decided to do this now.. Feeling a lot better already. Time to pay attention to the people yapping around me 😀

P.S. I need y’all to put me in your prayers. Nothing specific… I just know I need all the prayers I can get.
*air kisses*
FutureNewYorker!

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Avalanche


Avalanche ~ Hillsong

Every once in a while, a song comes up on my random shuffle and expresses exactly the thoughts stuck in my head. Tonight, this is the song. It’ll be very selfish of me not to share the beauty that is this marvelous music (at least the lyrics). Get the song!

Beautiful God
Laying Your majesty aside
You reached out in love to show me life
Lifted from darkness into light
Oh

King for a slave
Trading Your righteousness for shame
Despite all my pride and foolish ways
Caught in Your infinite embrace
Oh

And I find myself here on my knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compares to this love, love, love
Burning in my heart

Savior and Friend
Breathing Your life into my heart
Your word is the lamp unto my path
Forever I’m humbled by Your love
Oh

Take my life
Take all that I am
With all that I am I will love You
Take my heart
Take all that I have
Jesus how I adore You

And I find myself here on my knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compare to this love love love

Bless the soul that wrote this. I really hope and pray I never get to the point where God’s love and grace doesn’t move me.
Still amazed!

Breathe…


I wrote this for a blog I partner with. You should totally check out the blog if you’re lover of words and art. Click here

Breathe in… Breathe out

The struggle to complete this not so simple exercise
It shouldn’t be hard, right?
It’s only oxygen and whatever it is we emit
Wrong!
Many a day go by and we forget to breathe

Inhale… Exhale

Start off the day in a frenzied unrest
Targets to be met, goals to be set
The rush to align with everyone’s expectation yet unmet
Time waits for no one they say
The sun still is shining, better make some hay
If I don’t get it now, tomorrow may be too late
Forget about breathing, there’s always air to spare

Inspire… Expire

Can anybody tell me what it’s really all about?
‘Cause I can’t seem to figure me out
Hey, you should be seeing the world
Saving a life
Painting a picture
…Maybe with words
Building a new house, designing a terrace
But I’m surrounded by mountains and the world is caving in
My muffled screams and indistinct words are covered up
The sounds of thunder are louder than my tears
And no one can see that I’m choking here instead

Breathe in… Breathe out

“What are you doing”
“Waiting”
“Waiting for what?”
“Waiting for purpose”
Waiting to exhale… Waiting to know
Maybe without a purpose
Definitely without a plan
But I’m learning… That it’s okay if all I do today is breathe
It’s doesn’t seem like much but it ought to count for something
No pressure, no racing pulse

So when you call at the end of the day, like I know you will, and ask me how I did today, I know it’s okay if what I have to say is that the only thing I did was breathe.

Longing…


O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it had both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long.—- A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

I haven’t read anything in recent times that captures my thoughts so well. It’s a constant longing… As I get to know Him, I am satisfied, and the more I am hungry. I didn’t even know that what I felt made any sense until I read this excerpt.
It’s like the feeling of being in love with that one person who satisfies you but you still cannot get enough of.
My prayer is that the more I know Him, the more I want to long to know Him. I don’t ever want to get to the point where I’ve had enough or where I could get bored.
My reflection tonight is this on the prayer above… Say to my soul, “Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wondered so long.

Dear God


Lover of my soul,
Waking up to a reminder of Your love for me is amazing. Realizing that Your love for me is constant and that neither my actions or inactions will cause it to increase or diminish is humbling. Understanding that I can be real with You and that You can handle my questions, my doubts, my concerns, my insecurities, is freeing.
I have come a long way from Egypt and I never want to go back there. I am nothing without You, and on my own I can’t go any further up this road on which You lead me. My relationship with You is the most important part of my life – it is my life and I never want to lose it, I don’t want to give it up. Sitting here thinking about it now, I can give up all other relationships in my life… It will hurt in various degrees, but being completely honest, Yours is the only relationship I cannot afford to lose.
I love music and art and I’m grateful for the abilities that You’ve given me. Help me use them as an expression of my Love for You and as a witness to the world.
I refuse to be conformed to the happenings around me and I receive all the benefits that You daily load me with. Regardless of all that’s going on, I choose happy. I choose to live life more abundantly. I choose Your presence above all else. When all these choices are placed before me; wealth, love, fame and fortune… I’ll choose You again and again with no second thoughts and no regrets.
You know what I find really amazing, the fact that I can say this without a shadow of doubt in my heart – I choose You. It’s funny how I have all these doubts, and worries, and concerns, and there are moments I want to lash out at You and maybe even walk away, there are days I don’t feel like speaking to You or calling Your name, there are times I’m in so much emotional pain that I physically hurt, but even in those moments, if I have to, I’ll still choose You.
I judge You faithful O Lover of my soul. You’re the same God and not even my circumstances can change You. You remain steadfast and Your promises are always true. Flood my heart over and over again with the assurance of Your love. I choose to love You and I hold on to the consistency of Your love even when I don’t feel it, especially when I don’t feel it. I embrace it, I cling to it, and I relish it, and love You in return.
Days like these I just want to spend attending to You and loving You and responding to You. I picture it in my mind again and again how you have wooed me and swept me off my feet and loved me with an everlasting Love. You amaze me, truly You do.
I know that these declarations today will somehow bring situations that will test my faith but I’m confident that I’ve got You. It’ll be so much more harder to cleave to someone who doesn’t want to be held, but You’re here and this makes my choice so much easier.
I thank You for loving me first, and for always being here even in the silence, for the Still Small Voice, for “quiet” in a world full of thunder, for gentle reminders of Your love, for tugging on my heartstrings, for the promise of eternity with You. You amaze me, my love – words cannot describe it.
I adore You, I love You, I choose You.
Eternally Yours,
K