Monthly Archives: July 2013

Birthday Post


It’s my birthday today! Miss Anna Kovie Evi-Parker is now officially 26. Wow! It’s still sinking in… Twenty-six.
There are a lot of things I thought I’d have achieved by now that still seem a long way off. This should leave me depressed, right? Wrong. I know this may sound cliche, but I do have plenty to be grateful for…
I always thought by now I’d be married to a man who loves me. I’m not. I’m still single. I however, have started to love me. I’ve begun to accept my quirks and all. I’ve come to the place where I can think about the kind of person I am and smile. Boy, have I grown! I may not have a man who loves me… Yet. But I’m beginning to love me and that is just as, if not more, important. It’s been a long time coming. So today, I’m thankful that I’m not yet married to that man because the foundation would have been faulty.
I always thought by now I’d be some high-profile career woman. Errm… Lol. I’m not. In fact, I may as well be jobless right now, but I know now what I do NOT want to do with my life. I believe that every experience one has should serve a purpose and though I don’t fully see the big picture, I think I’m finally on the right path. So today, I’m thankful that I haven’t gone too far up the wrong path that I can’t turn around.
I’m grateful that I can see opportunities for adventure and that I’m not afraid to try new things or start over.
I’m thankful that it’s never too late.
I’m thankful that I can see beyond me, that I’ve got a ministry, that I’ve found a voice.
I’m thankful that I’ve made friends, that I’ve got a filter and that I can walk away.
I’m thankful for a do-over. Hard as it is, I’m glad I’m can face some of my fears.
I’m thankful for my vulnerability, and brokeness.
I’m thankful that I’m unworthy, but HE chooses me still, I’m humbled.
Words would never be able to show how grateful I am for my Abba. For everything! Ever faithful; ever true. Working in me, breaking me, molding me, fixing me, re-shaping me,… It’s overwhelming how much HE cares. Who am I that You are mindful of me??? So unworthy! Yet, He’s loved me. Loved me beyond my faults.
I’m thankful that everyday, Abba teaches me to trust Him more. The lessons are tough and some days are easier than others. Some lessons are better understood than others, but I’m learning. I still make mistakes, almost on a daily basis, but I’m learning. I’m still weak, still broken, still raw, but I’m a work in progress. God’s working in me and I can see changes. Not everyone might see them, but they are there.
I’m thankful that He wants to use me as I am. He’s not waiting to perfect me first. Right here in my filth! Amazing!
Lol… Kovie is thankful! Kovie is overwhelmed. Kovie is speaking in the third person because it doesn’t feel like the old Kovie anymore.
If I had a million tongues, it still won’t be enough to say how grateful I am.
So I feel like a new chapter of my life is about to begin and it’s not just cause it’s my birthday. I’m open to whatever God wants to do. It seems like He changes my plans as soon as I put them down. Lol. I trust You. Your will, Daddy.

On Monday, Abba gave me an early birthday present. 😀 :-D. Still excited!

This post should have gone up since morning but I’ve had the most exhausting day ever! Like my bosses at the office didn’t get the birthday memo. Lol… Anyway, in all, I had a good day. Thanks for all the messages and love y’all have shown today via, emails, twitter, whatsapp, bbm, sms, phonecalls… See me feeling special and shiiii ^_^. Grateful!

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Needs fixing + Off The Playlist – Make Me New


Empty spaces…
Blank sheet.
Broken vessel…
Fix this.
Abba, the hurt hasn’t healed
The band-aid has been ripped off
Uncovering years worth of love unrequited
The stitch is coming undone
The smile no longer holds the seam
Hurting people hurt people
Broken vessels don’t hold love
Or anything else
Fix me.
Make me new.
Heal me…
For you
For me
For the others
Not for him.
Sigh
It’s gripping, the anger.
It’s familiar, the pain.
It’s uncomfortable, the sneaking emotions.
It’s random, the memories.
It’s frightening, the thought that he’s still in here
My chest… What lies beneath
Gosh
We’ve passed this place Kov, why are we back here???
Not sure which of them is to blame
Cocktail of emotions.
Argh!
Broken. Broken. Broken.
But not beyond Your repair
Potter, fix me. Please.
Abba, make me whole.
Use this mess
Spin the gold.

#NP Make Me New – Mali Music

Father it’s me, please hear me my king.
I know I am unholy, so unworthy, unclean.
But I yearn to know you, my soul thirsts for you.
And my temple is broken down, oh take me and make me new

Oh Father (Father) hear me (hear me),
God who rules (God who rules everything).
I’m not asking for blessings (not for), not your hand Lord (hand Lord),
but to know your heart (know your heart)
So show me (show me) the way (the way),
Without you Father (without you I’m nothing)
I’m patiently (patiently) waiting (waiting) oh for you lord (for you Lord)
To take me and make me new.

Take me, make me new.
Take me, make me new.
Take me, make me new.
Take me, make me yours.

Father it’s me, humbly on my knees.
I know I am unworthy, unholy, and unclean oh.
But I long to know You, my soul thirsts for You.
My temple is broken down, oh take me and make me new.

Oh Father (Father) hear me (hear me),
God who rules (God who rules everything).
I’m not asking for blessings anymore (not for), not your hand Lord (hand Lord),
but to know your heart (know your heart)
So show me (show me) the way (the way),
Without you (without you I’m nothing)
I’m patiently (patiently) waiting (waiting for you Lord).
Oh take me and make me new

Take me, make me new.
Take me, make me new.
Take me, make me new.
Take me, make me yours.

Wash my heart, wash my hands,
I want to worship You. I want to worship You.
Here we are, here I stand.
So make me new, make me new, make me new

Make me new

Twenty Six Before Twenty Seven


We are officially in my favorite month of the year (we’ve been for some days though x_x) yippeeeee!!! July’s here and this means my birthday is almost here.
Following last year’s trend, I will not spend my day wallowing in self pity and thinking of all the things I haven’t accomplished, instead, I’m going to remain grateful for what I have, enjoy what’s here and now, and make the most of opportunities as they present themselves.
I turn 26 on the 31st of this month. TWENTY-SIX!!!! Good Lord! When did I get here???? So yeah, like I said, this is a self-pity free zone.
I’m making a list of twenty six things I wanna do before I turn twenty seven… I’ll be leaving that here, crossing them off as I accomplish each one and sharing the journey with you. Most of what’s on this list are funzies I’ve been wanting to do for a while, some of them I’ve already started… We have 365 days to complete the task so in no particular order, *cue drum roll*

1. Learn to sew
2. Visit two new cities (local or otherwise)
3. Guitar lessons/get a new acoustic guitar
4. Start learning a new language
5. Attend a live concert
6. Upgrade the blog
7. Get that bikini bod!! -____-
8. Grow natural hair to BSL
9. Add color to hair *fingers crossed*
10. Upgrade cam to DSLR
11. Take a photography class
12. Read 50 new books (mostly fiction)
13. Learn to use photoshop
14. Start training for a marathon
15. Road trip!!!
16. Wine tasting/tour of a winery
17. Change location
18. Start my mini potted plants garden
19. Sing karaoke
20. Creative practice
21. Quit current job
22. Get my own space
23. Watch one live game at Old Trafford
24. Visit an art gallery
25. Busker!
26. Enjoy everyday of being 26!!!

There you have it. Twenty six “to-do” before I turn twenty seven… Wish me luck 😉

P.S. “Go on a blind date” was supposed to be on this list but errrmmm… We’ll see 😀

Off The Playlist – More


You’re seated somewhere in the middle. It’s your first time in here. You don’t do too well in large crowds. You really didn’t want to come in here today, but it’s been months since your move and Lola insisted that you participate in some kind of corporate worship, and frankly you’d gotten bored of spending your Sunday mornings flipping through TV channels searching for the service that’s just right for you. You’re here just to check out the place, if you like it enough, you’d be here again next Sunday and every Sunday after (at least in the foreseeable future). You don’t really like where you’re seated, it’s not in the front, to force you to concentrate and participate, neither is it at the back, so you slip out easily if this turns out not to be your scene. You’re stuck in the middle aisle, no chance to escape. Your seat’s good for one thing though, you can observe. That’s the plan anyway; observe.
The music comes up and the band’s really going in at it. The sound’s good, you think… A bit mediocre compared to what you’re used to, but it’s not terrible. As the music goes on, you’re fighting the urge to leap out from your seat and throw your hands up… You’re fighting the urge to let go. You can fault the entire service, but you can’t fight the fact that this worship is sincere and you really want to be a part of this. But you resist anyway, you’re new here. You’re not used to the system here. Your worship might seem a bit out of place. On and on and on the excuses pile up….
You’re dealing with way too much right now. The pressure you’re under is way more important than this (of course, you don’t exactly say this, but you think it, kinda). The sounds too loud. The vocalists are ruining the song. You don’t feel comfortable. God knows you’ve got a headache. The lists endless….

***********************
More – Lawrence Flowers and Intercession
Oh the worshiper in me wants to be free
From the cares of life that seem to weigh me down.
Yes the worshiper in me needs consistency
To lift my hands and give you praise when no ones around.
Oh the worshiper in me wants to break free
From the intellectual mentality
Like when I should be up, I’m sitting in my seat
I should be lifting my hands, giving you praise, and glory
I should be giving you more
More
I should be giving you more

I wanna give my best to you,
I wanna do what you ask me to,
I wanna go wherever you say,
Just say the word and I’ll obey,
I wanna live a life that’s real,
I wanna serve you Lord for real,
For you deserve all this and More,
So I give you More
More
So I give you more
More

You deserving of more

I Give You More

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to thee my blessed Savior
I surrender all

***********************
I can paint a million scenarios and come up with countless reasons why we give less than the best when we are in God’s presence, be it private or corporate worship. None of this is good enough. I don’t need to reiterate the fact that God deserves more…
Release the worshiper in you to give God what He deserves, the best of your best worship (even though we know He actually does deserve much more). Anytime we get the chance, give Him the best. And I’m not just talking about in music, worship’s beyond that. Every aspect of our lives can be (and should be) lived as worship to our creator… He’s deserving of more. The least we can do is give Him the best we’ve got. Let the worshiper in you break free!!

As we realize that every breath we breathe is worship, we’d make a conscious effort to do the best of it. Living each moment for Him… Laying our lives on the alter as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable; our reasonable act of worship. *From my rising, to my laying down at night, each moment is for You. Oh the worshiper in me wants to break free….

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship. Rom 12:1 (NIV)

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise–the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. Heb 13:15