What are the five things that are most important to you in a future mate?
Only five? Lol… Jk.
I’ll just get right to it…
1) Rejoices in his relationship with Christ.
Notice I didn’t just say ‘Christian’, so you don’t confuse that for occasionally showing up for church services and saying ‘grace’ before meals. I’m talking about a deep, passionate, intimate, really personal relationship with God. You’ll know this because his joy as a believer is evident in everything he does. God comes before me (or anyone else) in his life. This is a HUGE deal.
When a man really, truly loves God, rest assured that takes care of so many other things. His values are right. I remember a family friend told me sometime ago that she had to marry a man whose values came from his relationship with God because then she knows she won’t have to worry about his loyalty, faithfulness, honesty and things like that. It’s not his love for her that would keep him from hitting her, it would just be contrary to his belief system to do that. I agree.
Of course my reason for wanting him to have a personal relationship with God is not entirely selfish (lol). A personal relationship with God is the BEST thing that has happened to me, why wouldn’t I want the person I plan to spend the rest of life with to enjoy that too? In fact, his love for God should drive me closer to God.
He should also be a man of unwavering faith, and this comes from his trust and love for God.
2) Understand the importance of feelings and emotions.
A man who takes the initiative to lead but tempers it with a gentle spirit, and tender responses to my feelings. He’s also not afraid to reveal his emotions even though he embraces his masculinity. The best of both worlds – neither dominant nor a doormat.
I’m a feel-er and I have to be with somebody who knows how to respond to that. Not somebody who runs off at the sight of a little tears :p. Plus you know how men like to act all macho and tough like nothing moves them? Well, you can’t do that here boo. I gats to see beneath your burriful, ya dig?
*Don’t be shy to hold my hand (and other public displays of affection).
3) Has a creative outlet.
I really don’t care what it is, just have some form of artistic/creative outlet. Write, paint, take pictures, sing, sculpt, dance, play an instrument,… Just do something. Please, please, please, have a passion for the arts, in whatever form. I’m too much of a creativity junkie to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate art.
*At the very least, just appreciate it A LOT, if the artistic gene skipped you 😦 :(. Else, we would have no common ground.
4) Man of wisdom.
I love intelligent men, always have. But this is beyond academic intelligence. Definitely not superficial when it comes to real issues. Be able to carry on an intelligent conversation (without coming off as cocky,nobody likes those). Be wise. You may not always have answers to all of life’s questions, but be able to make wise decisions. Know what you’re talking about, and live it. See beyond the facts. Don’t go with the bandwagon. Able to make your own decisions and take a stand for what you believe… (See why his values need to be God-based?)
5) Has a sense of humour/playful side.
I kinda feel like this point is cliché. Shouldn’t it go without saying? You shouldn’t take yourself too seriously, laugh, love, learn, live. Be able to make me smile. I don’t need you to be a comedian (I’m serious, I don’t want a comedian) but be able to bring sunshine with you. Know how to have a good time. Dance. Live. Laugh – deep throaty laughter, throw-your-head-back-without-a-care-in-the-world kinda laughter. Pick me up every now and then. Sneak up on me and tickle me. Take goofy pictures. Get the joke. Smile. Read funny articles to me. Just be fun to be around.
I think this about sums up the 5 most important things… There’s other important stuff too like, love for travelling, maintains proper relationships, has a forgiving/sensitive spirit, and so on. At the end of the day, nothing beats having my own ‘person’, someone who gets me, with whom I click. Call him my ‘soulmate’ if you please.
Here’s a quote I’m stealing,
“And then you run into him on Seventh Avenue as you’re buying diced cantaloupe, and pow, you are known, you are recognized, the both of you. You both find the exact same things worth remembering. You have the same rhythm. Click. You just know each other. All of a sudden you see reading in bed and waffles on Sunday and laughing at nothing and his mouth on yours. And it’s so far beyond fine that you know you can never go back to fine. That fast. You think: Oh, here is the rest of my life. It’s finally arrived.” ~Gillian Flynn
“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” ~ Dr. Seuss